Dear Sister,
The time has come to deliver your precious little one. The longing is so strong to see your child and to get them out of your body! Anxiety is high due to the unknown and the known of what is about to happen. Before I go into any advice, take a deep breath and know that God sees you and knows the past and the future. He holds you and your precious one in his hands.
All deliveries are different. In the end, your story will be different than mine, but there are some similarities that we can all share in our experience. Delivery by its very nature brings a sense of trauma due to the fact of birthing something the size of a pliable watermelon out of a small canal is hard. I had vaginal births, but I have had many friends who have had C-sections. There are certain expectations and instructions that come from having a C-section that I will write about in a different post.
Whether you deliver by C-section or vaginal delivery, your child will come into this world. It is wonderful to have a birthing plan, but make sure that you are willing to be flexible with that plan. Little babies in the belly and children in our lives can cause much disruption to expectations and plans. Having an overall idea what you would like to happen is helpful, but in the end being willing to let go of your plan, if unexpected things arise, will give way for peace in the delivery process. In the end, you may or may not have a kumbaya pregnancy delivery high with your child snuggling and nursing perfectly with you right after birth. If this experience doesn't go the way you expected, it does not make you a bad mama, nor does it make you a failure as a woman. This goes similarly to breast feeding. There is so much out there about what you should do and what you shouldn’t do. If you don’t do it just the way that your fav Instagram mom suggests or the way the American Pediatric Association prescribes doesn’t make you a failure as a mom. Realize that your child will not be messed up or have other issues if you are taking care of their basic needs and loving them. (I speak from experience of comparing myself to others and feeling like I am messing everything up and I have failed as a mom.)
On to some logistical information for a “typical” vaginal delivery:
Stages of Labor
Three Stages:
1) First Stage: The cervix dilates and effaces (most of the delivery process)
-Early labor- inconsistent contractions with no dilation,
-Active labor- consistent contractions (~ 2 minutes apart for about 30 seconds)
-Transition stage- increased rate of contraction frequency and intensity
2) Second Stage: This is the stage that you push the baby
3) Third Stage: Delivery of the placenta
Suggestions for the First Stage of Labor
- Light music – I have the Apple music app- music with no commercials and good selection of music. ($9.99/month) You can choose whatever way you like to listen to music. Francesca Battistelli radio is one suggestion or something that suites your taste.
- Epidural- I have had both epidural and natural births. Epidural is very helpful in decreasing pain. Whether or not to get an epidural is a blog post all on its own. All I have to say is you will know if it is time. Just as side note, once they put the epidural in you are not able to leave the bed or move in different positions.
- Zofran- Zofran is an antinausea medication. It is safe for delivery. Due to the way your body is contracting it can cause nausea. Asking for Zofran in the active phase of delivery can prevent you from vomiting during the transition phase or in the second stage of delivery.
- Water diet- You are not allowed to eat anything after you start delivering. You really won’t want to eat during the process, but just prepare yourself to drink lots of water. Sometimes they will allow for hard candy.
- Voiding - Try your best to empty your bladder and your bowels before you get into the more intense contractions. Peeing while you are contacting was not functionally possible for me. You might poop and pee when you are delivering the baby- happens to everyone.
Active Labor Suggestions for delivery without epidural
- Focal point- If you are delivering without an epidural when the pain of the contraction comes, finding a focal point was very helpful to channel the pain
- Peanut ball and Medicine ball- For my son, my contractions were down low and I could not walk so the peanut ball helped me keep my legs open when I laid on my side. The Medicine ball was helpful, because when I would sit on the ball next to the bed, and I leaned over on the bed with my chest and arms on the bed. The sitting up would help the baby descend more quickly using gravity to help.
- (How hubby can help) Back rub and Timing contractions- My husband would rub my back during the contractions and that was super helpful in deferring the pain. Knowing I had x number of seconds left during a contraction was helpful to get me through to the end of the contraction
Suggestions for the Second Stage of Labor
- The provider will periodically check you. Once you are fully dilated and effaced, they will prepare you for delivery of the baby. They will have delivery stirrups and they will have you pull your knees back up to you chin. Then you wait for the contraction to come then you push!
- You will rest in between pushes and push on the contraction.
- Sometimes the pushing can take a couple minutes and other times it can take hours. Every delivery is different, and your provider will guide you through it!
Suggestions for the Third Stage of Labor
- When the baby is out is it time to deliver the placenta. The provider will rub on your belly in order to make the uterus contract. On the next couple contractions, they will ask you to push again to deliver the placenta.
- It is important for the provider to check to make sure the placenta came out intact because there can be complication if part of the placenta is retained.
- They will instruct you on whether you need stitches due to a tear
- The nurse will help you get cleaned up and in fresh disposable underwear and pads
- If you had an epidural your legs might be numb, they will instruct you to use the restroom.
- In no time you will be resting in your room holding your precious child in your arms.
John 16:21(NIV)
A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born, she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.
Though our pain comes, it is short and is forgotten. Holding your own in your hands is a gift from the Lord like no other. May the Lord grant you safe passage for your precious one. May he give you peace, protection and guidance throughout the whole process.
Your worth is immeasurable. You have been bought with a price. You are loved.
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