Dear Sister,
Your maternity leave is coming to a close. It has been a trying couple months in which you have changed in ways that you will never be the same again. You are holding your precious baby in a dark peaceful room with only dim light around you. You, holding your child, are standing at the door. The door of becoming a working mom is both terrifying and exciting, not unlike the thought of giving birth itself.
The unknown that is behind that door is what can keep you up at night. Will I be able to do it? Is it going to work out taking care of the precious package that has been entrusted to me and be able to fulfill duties of work? You take the time to prep yourself with lists, plans, contingency plans and back up contingency plans. You suit yourself up like you are going to sky dive behind the door.
You turn the knob and open the door. It is the first day of work. Nervous if you look ok after you just birthed a human and have been without a full night sleep in a couple months. You run around the house making sure you have everything: diapers, extra outfits, all the things a baby would need in an 8-hour period of time. Frankly, it is a lot for a thing that weighs less than 10 lbs. You drive into work; you have your jump suit on, and you hold your breath. You hear a quiet voice in your heart. I will be with you. God is speaking to your heart, dear one. You open the door to work, and you take that jump.
When you started this whole process, you didn't even know if you could have kids let alone think of whether you wanted to be stay at home mom or a working one. Many times, a mother can decide to work, and in some cases, that choice is made for them. For many, a mother working outside of the home is not a choice, but a necessity for sustaining the financial life and medical benefits of the family. Due to this reality, a mother is left torn with the duty of taking care of this young one and performing to the best of her ability in the career that she is trying to achieve.
The best advice I have ever received on career and mothering has come from a true rockstar mom. Lacey Strum is a former singer of Flyleaf, writer of three books and mother to three boys. In her book, The Return Reflections on Loving God Back, she speaks to her struggle of whether she should pursue her career after becoming a mom. In a section called “Can I have a Career and Be a Mom,” Lacey shared,
“I couldn’t imagine ever trying to do anything alongside being a mom. But the more I turned my heart toward being a mom and being a wife, the more my heart overflowed with writings and songs and revelations. We also had opportunities come, and my first response was no….Josh knew I was wrestling with this [seeking a career] and suggested I take some time to retreat and find some peace about it all. One weekend I drove out to a cabin that belonged to some of our family. The only person I had to talk to was God. The questions I wrote in my journal were How do I keep from making an idol of my career and ministry? How do I not lose my family in the midst of everything that could happen? How do I not lose my relationship with God? … After I wrote this in my journal, I felt clarity coming: Obedience is better than sacrifice, Lacey. If I call you to go out and you stay home with your children, then you have made your home and your children an idol. This isn’t good for your children when you do this. If I call you to stay home with your children and you go out to tell people about me, you have made your ministry an idol. This isn’t good for your children or your ministry. Stay close to me and hear my voice. I want a relationship with you that’s deeper than just a line-in-the-sand rule. Walk with me and let me lead you on each adventure I have for you.”
Oh, dear sister, as we mother, may we all “stay close to God and hear His voice.” We will sacrifice much for our children and our livelihoods. My prayer is that you will hear God speaking to you clearly and then you will do what He says. When we obey God and do his will, that is the best place that we can ever choose to be whether it will be working or being at home. We can be free of guilt for the time spent away from our children or away from our careers. We can love and serve in joy and not parent in fear. As you put your jump suit on and you open the door, remember that you are not alone. Jesus is with you, dear one, and he will be there to guide you as you start this uncharted and exciting journey of taking care of your precious one and pursue God’s calling in your life.
Your worth is immeasurable. You have been bought with a price. You are loved.
Sturm, Lacey, The Return, Reflections on Loving God Back, “Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group,” 2018, pg 135,136. Used by permission. http://www.bakerpublishinggroup.com
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